I wanted to create a quick blog post about the Pathfinders Retreats. You can see more about the upcoming retreat on the page linked to this post. It’s an event for guys in the 20s or early 30s who are feeling directionless in their careers or lives and who feel disconnected from people and the world around them.
Each retreat involves some outdoor activity and the upcoming retreat on October 11 will include a morning of kayaking on Buffalo Bayou. But then we will also have some time of investigating our personal values and how these help us find direction in our lives. All of this will take place in a small group of men who are wrestling with similar questions about their lives.
But I think one of the fears that guys might have as they think about attending the retreat, is how much of their own personal stuff they will have to share with the other guys. So this is when I think about titration. You might have had a chemistry class in high school or college where you had to titrate a solution. This is the process of using a pipet to add a measured amount of liquid, a drop at a time, into the new solution until the colored indicator turned pink, for example, which would mean you’ve added enough to now have an acidic solution. Creating an environment where it feels okay to share some of your personal stuff is a similar process…you do it a drop at a time, until it all feels okay. So we will start the day with something easy and fun (kayaking and then lunch) to get to know each other on a surface level. Then we’ll share a little bit of personal stuff, but not too personal, and see if that feels safe. Then, we’ll share a little bit more. It will be a gradual process of getting comfortable with each other, to then share with and learn from each other. We’re not going to pour all the deep, personal shit in all at once from the very beginning. It doesn’t work that way.
But this is also how it works for creating friendships and romantic relationships too. You don’t dive all-in from the very beginning; you go just drip by drip with who you are and what you’re all about until it feels okay, and suddenly, the solution has changed to “friendship” or “girlfriend or boyfriend.” Right? So if you’re thinking about signing up to attend the retreat, know that we will take it slow on the deep personal shit, so everyone feels comfortable. And it will also be up to you to decide how much you share and when you share…so you will always be in control of your own story.
So if you’re interested, click over to the other page and see what it’s all about.